surviving her tragedy
by allykind
Summary: Something terrible had happened to Natalie but the sons where there to save this young girl, but now that Gemma has taken her in and she is safe she will need help dealing with the memory and heartaches that follow, can a tough, tattooed covered killer help her cope with her tragedy.-please review and let me know if you like my story im a little nervous publishing-
1. Chapter 1

Ok this is my first attempt at a story, I have been an avid reader on here for 4 or 5 years, and love to read so with all the ideas for stories I have had, I figured I would bite the bullet and finally write my own so here we go!  
Disclaimer: I only own the rights to the original characters I do not own any of the Sons of Anarchy characters

I walked into the kitchen feeling very timid. I look around every corner making sure there are no guys around, I'm not sure I could handle that yet. "Gemma" I say finally seeing her standing at the stove. "yeah sweetie" She says turning around to face me. "I ummm" I stuttered not wanting to ask anything more of the woman who has taken me in, made me apart of her family, already given me so much. "You ok, did you need something baby". "Ummm, the jeans I wear when I ride on Jaxs bike, the only ones that fit over my boots, they ripped and ummm, so I need jeans to wear". I take a big breath finally telling her the problem. "oh baby that's no problem, I would take you shopping but I have a meeting later for the fundraiser, but I'll get one of the guys to go with you that way I know your safe" SAFE, that word, I don't know what that feels like anymore, everything feels unsafe. My eyes start to water and knowing a breakdown is coming I throw out a quick thank you and rush from the kitchen, racing to my room, the spare room Gemma and Clay have been so generous to give me. Closing the door and leaning against it I try to breath. Sliding down the door landing on the floor with a small thud I break into tears.

I wipe my eyes and look around finally aware of my surroundings again, I jump when there's a knock on the door I'm still sitting against." Hey baby, u ok" Its Gemma, I clear my thought and try to not sound like I was crying. "Yeah I'm fine" not myself believing what I just said. " ok baby just wanted to tell you I'm heading out, I left some money on the counter for you to go shopping , one of the guys will be here in about an hour, if you need anything just call". That's when it hit me, one of the guys will be taking me, I start to panic. "Thank you Gemma" I barely squeak out. I'm going to have to be ALONE with one of the guys. I try to control my breathing, my palms are sweaty and my heart is pounding. "Ok, just calm down" I try to tell myself. "I can do this, I can do this" I repeat over and over. Gemma wouldn't send me off with someone that would hurt me, right? After I have calmed myself I get up off the floor and try not to think about what will be here in an hour as I get ready to go shopping.

Gemma pulls out of the driveway in her escalade and pushes the call button on her phone "yeah" comes a husky voice through the phone. "Hey Happy" "Hey Gem what can I do for ya". "I need to ask a favor, remember Natalie, the girl we saved" "yeah what about her" he said harshly wondering what Gemma was wanting from him. " well she needs some clothes and I would take her shopping but I have a meeting for the fundraiser, I'm heading there right now, so I need someone to go with her to make sure she's safe" she said as she pulled to a red light. Happy rolled his eyes I am not the shopping type of guy he thought " Yeah no problem Gemma, I'm just about to be done here at the garage and then ill head to your house and pick her up, can't believe your making me go shopping Gemma" Happy said with a grin. "I know, I'm sorry Happy, just please remember what she has been through, don't scare the shit out of the poor girl" happy was unsure, after all he wasn't the type of guy that was good around terrified, emotional girls. -"You'll be fine Happy just take it slow with her and show up with your softer side and you will be fine, this might be good for her, make her see not all guys are bad". Happy laughed, he was not the guy to show an emotionally scarred girl that not all guys were bad he wouldn't classify himself as good after all he killed for a living. Gemma sure hoped this was a good idea she didn't want to set back the progress Natalie had already made. " K Gem, I better get back to work so I can go get her" "Thanks again Happy I'll talk to you later" Gemma hung up her phone and pulled into the parking lot. She hoped somehow, someway, Happy might be what Natalie needed to help her trust again.

Happy climbed off his bike and put his helmet on the handle bars he looked up at the house, he hoped this went well. He walked up to the door hesitated a minute and then knocked on the door. Natalie jumped, not expecting the knock. "Dammit I thought I could do this, but I don't think I can" she panicked, heart racing, stomach in knots. "Natalie" she heard from the door, it was a males voice. "shit, shit, shit no I can't do this" she was scared. She thought to the only people she trusted Gemma and Jax. Tears rolled down her face as she picked up her cell and dialed Gemma "yeah baby" she said "Gemma I'm scared" the only words she could get out before she burst into full tears. "awww baby it's just Happy, he won't hurt you I promise, just calm down and breath ok " Gemma pulled her phone from her ear so she could text Happy hey hap she's freaking, the spare key is under the flower pot , you think you can go in and try to calm her. Happy read the text "shit" he thought about it for a min and then lifted the pot and grabbed the key. He hoped this wouldn't make it worse. Got the key headed in. he texted back.

Happy put the key in the lock and turned it hearing the lock click, he turned the door knob not knowing what he was about to encounter. Happy slowly walked in and closed the door looking around for any sign of the young girl when he got another text from Gemma. Make sure she doesn't go for the top drawer in the kitchen that's the only gun she knows about. "You got to be kidding me", great I'm going to get shot he thought. He quickly walked into the kitchen and opened the drawer, the gun was still there he grabbed it and put it on top the fridge, hopefully she can't reach this. He turns around quick when he hears a noise, its coming from upstairs. Happy moves to the stairs moving cautiously until he is at the top. He stops and listens trying to get a clue of where Natalie is. He hears the sound of a girl crying in the room at the end of the hall. Walking up to the door he stops, how am I going to do this he thinks. "Natalie, its Happy, u ok" he says trying to not spook her more. He hears a sharp intake of breath and then the sound of movement "Please go away, please" she says in a scared little voice. "I'm not going to hurt you Natalie, open the door" "no, no, no please go away please don't hurt me again, please just go away" that's when he knew she had reverted back to her attack this wasn't going to be easy if she thought he was the one that hurt her the first time, well hopefully this doesn't backfire on me, he thinks as he pulls his pocket knife out and picks the lock hearing it pop. He slowly opens the door scanning the room quickly. He spots Natalie huddled in the corner of her room, arms clutched around her knees that are pulled to her chest, rocking back and forth tears running down her face. Even through the tears he notices her beauty, her long dark brown hair pushed behind her ears showing off her beautiful blue eyes her short but well-proportioned body a little on the too skinny side, dressed in black yoga pants and a baggy sweatshirt. She looks up at him and tries to scramble further back into the corner, fear clearly etched on her face. He steps forward leaving the door wide open trying to show her he isn't locking her in, get her to trust him just a little bit. "Hey calm down I'm not going to hurt you ok" he says with his hands up in front of him. She keeps her eyes locked on him, body visibly shaking. "Please don't" she whimpers. He walks forward just enough to sit on the end of the bed, still a good distance from her. "I'm not going to hurt you, I'm just here like Gemma asked to take you shopping, its ok I promise I won't hurt you". Then out of nowhere she stands up and launches for the door, but Happy was ready and caught her around the waist. Happy pulls her on his lap and holds her to his chest keeping her hands locked down to her sides to avoid her hitting him. Her panic just escalates as she struggles against him, Happy holds tight and waits for her to wear herself out. "Calm down, shhhhh". Finally she tires herself out and her body gives up and slumps in his arms. Thinking she passed out he says her name. "Natalie, you still with me sweetheart". She nods her head as silent tears rolls down her face"please, don't hurt me" she whispers too tired to talk." I won't hurt you, I'm sorry I scared you but I promise I'm not going to hurt you" Happy tried his best to soften his voice to keep her calm. Natalie just laid there she was still shaking pretty bad but she tried to calm herself down, her heart beat wildly and she felt sick to her stomach. "I know you aren't comfortable being this close to me, you promise to stay calm if I set you on the bed next to me. No running away" Happy said. She made a little nod and Happy moved her off his lap to sit next to him. She sat there with her hands on her knees and took deep breath." I'm in and she's calmed down" Happy texts Gemma.

About ten minutes later Happy spoke" do you still feel like going shopping" she finally looked him in the eye and nodded " I have to, I need a new pair of jeans for tomorrow" Happy nodded and stood up, Natalie flinched at his sudden movement. She stood up too and turned to Happy" just give me a minute and I'll be down" she said quietly. "k as long as you don't sneak out your window" he said with a laugh. That's a good idea she thought, "no I promise I'll be down in a couple minutes". "Ok " Happy smiled and turned around and walked out. Natalie stood up and walked into her bathroom, she splashed some water on her face and looked at herself in the mirror. Her eyes were red and swollen from crying and she had some faint tear stains down her face from her mascara. She took a towel, got it wet and cleaned her face then reapplied her makeup.

Happy sat on the couch waiting for Natalie hoping he wouldn't have to go on a chase for her. Footsteps coming down the stairs interrupted his thoughts, he looked up and saw Natalie walking down the stairs timidly. "You ready to go" she kept her eyes down looking at the floor and mumbled and yeah. Natalie walked in the kitchen and picked up the cash off the counter Gemma left. Of course three hundred dollars, Natalie frowned Gemma always gave her way to much she would have been fine with twenty bucks. She walked back out of the kitchen and followed Happy out to the car, her car the one Gemma bought her, she told her she didn't have to but Gemma bought her one anyway, it is a 2013 BMW sedan, it's the nicest thing she had ever owned. Happy climbed in the passenger seat and Natalie climbed in the driver seat.

Natalie pulled the car into a parking spot in front of a small used clothing store in charming. "You sure this is where you want to shop" asked happy knowing Gemma gave her a good amount of money. "Yeah I'm not a designer clothes type of person" "ok" said happy. They both got out of the car and walked into the tiny store. Happy found a chair right by the door and took a seat, this way he could watch the door and shopping wasn't his thing. Natalie walked to the jeans rack and started searching for items in her size being and unpopular size 2 there was a lot to pick from. She grabbed a stack and walked to the fitting room to try them on. After trying on about 10 pair she found 5 that fit and took them to the register her total came to $19 and she handed them a twenty and tipped the lady her change "thank you" the lady smiled and replied "anytime sweetheart come again". She walked to where happy was sitting and told him she was done and ready to go. "That was fast, my kind of shopper" happy said with a smile. Natalie smiled back and walked out the door to the car. As they both got in Happy's phone rang "yep. He said into the phone. "Ok we will head to Gemma's so she can get some stuff and then head over" Natalie was wondering what was going on "ok, bye" Happy hung up the phone and looked at Natalie. "Something went down and we are on lockdown, we have to go get you some things from the house and then head to the clubhouse". Fear crossed Natalie's face, she had only been to the clubhouse once and that was the day they found her she wasn't sure if she could handle going back. Seeing her panic happy tried to reassure her "hey, you'll be ok it's just routine ". Natalie nodded and put the car in drive and headed to Gemma's house.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I only own the rights to the original characters I do not own any of the Sons of Anarchy characters

Thank you for the reviews

Natalie walks in the house and ran up to her room, she grabs her duffel bag out of the closet and puts a couple pair of the jeans she just bought in there and a few shirts, a couple pairs of pj shorts and a couple tank tops. She goes to her dresser and throws in some underwear and a couple bras and socks. She grabs her bathroom back and grabs her boots and a pair of flip flops. She then picks up her duffel and her laptop bag and goes back downstairs. Happy is waiting in the living room and sees her come down the stairs. They walk out to her car and she puts her stuff in the front seat. "Just follow me to the clubhouse ok" happy says putting his helmet on. "Okay" Natalie says quietly. Happy smiles at her seeing her nervousness, he puts his hand on her arm which makes her flinch "everything's going to be ok". She manages a small smile and then turns and walks to her car. Happy pulls into the Teller-Morrow parking lot and backs his bike in as he watches Natalie park her car, he climbs off his bike and notices the car is off but she hasn't gotten out of her car. Walking up to the car he sees her hands firmly planted on the steering wheel so tight her knuckles are white. He opens the door and puts his hands on hers ignoring her flinch, he gently pry's her hands off the steering wheel. "Come on, no one here is going to hurt you, there family". She slowly gets out of the car and walks around to the passenger side and grabs her bags and follows happy into the clubhouse. As they walk in she instinctively scans the room, Gemma's behind the bar serving drinks to two guys sitting there talking, there are women with some kids sitting on the couches watching two guys playing pool and there are three guys sitting at a table cleaning their guns in the middle of the room. Happy stays right next to Natalie as they walk into the clubhouse, Gemma spots them and walks from behind the bar and comes up to Natalie "how you doing sweetheart". "I'm ok" she says quietly while continually scanning the room keeping an eye on all the guys. Then a guy Natalie didn't see before walks up to them "Hey Gemma" Natalie freezes heart pounding, she grabs Happy's hand and grips it tight. Feeling his hand had been grabbed he looks down and realizes its Natalie. Shocked he looks up at her and sees the fear, he leans close to her ear "breath, you're ok" noticing that didn't help he shoots Gemma a look and keeping a hold of Natalie's hand, he walks her to the back of the clubhouse and down the hallway. Happy comes to a stop at a door and looks to her, then opens the door and walks her in. She walks in but stays close to the door, subconsciously staying close for an easy escape. "This is my dorm room, you can leave your stuff in here and hang out here if you don't feel comfortable out there right now" "ok, thank you Happy ". He turns to her and smiles. "I've got to go out and talk to some of the guys, then I'll come check on you" she nods and watches Happy walk out the door.

Happy walks up to the bar where Gemma is "Hey how is she doing" Gemma says handing him a beer. "Ok I think after this morning I didn't think I was going to get within twenty feet of her, but I think she is starting to trust me". "That's good, thanks for helping me with her Happy, I really appreciate it". "It's no problem Gemma, I like the girl, she's sweet". Gemma smiled. "Church" Happy heard, he got off the bar stool and followed the guys into the room. Natalie put her bags down next to the bed, she felt secure in the room away from the crowd out in the clubhouse, she wondered how long till she could go back to the safety of her room at home. To occupy her time Natalie pulled out her phone and started playing Tetris on it. About an hour later she heard the door open and jumped" it's just me" Happy said walking in the room. Natalie sat up and smiled at him, she watched him walk over to the bed and sit on the edge of it "you hungry" Happy said "no" Gemma had told Happy she wasn't eating much since it happened. "When was the last time you ate Natalie"? She shrugged her shoulders "ummm I don't know, yesterday morning I think" she said quietly. Happy scouted closer to her on the bed and held her hand. Natalie looked down staring at the bed. Happy took his other hand and put a finger under her chin and lifted her head to look at him "Hey look at me, you have to eat, you're too skinny" Natalie closed her eyes as a small tear escaped. Happy wiped the tear from her eye and pulled her into a hug. She stiffened at the feeling of his arms around her, he slowly started rubbing her back and she started to relax. This actually felt really good she thought the first hug she had since it happened, and then she lost it she let all the pain out and cried in his arms. "It's going to be ok, Ill protects you, you just have to trust me". Happy felt really close to her for some reason, all he wanted to do was take the pain away from this girl, protect her from all the bad things, he felt like he was falling for her.

Happy walked into the room after getting food from Gemma he knew he would never get her to eat if he took her out of this room tonight. Natalie was sitting on the bed searching through Netflix looking for a movie to watch. "I wasn't sure what you liked so I just grabbed a turkey sandwich, hope that's ok". Happy sat the sandwich and bag of chips and bottle of water in front of her. "Thank you happy I'll try to eat". She said picking the sandwich up and taking a bite. "I just got you water but do you want a beer or a mixed drink or something"? Happy sat on foot of the bed. "I'm not old enough to drink Happy". Shit, Happy thought she is younger than I thought. "How old are you" she took a drink of the water "I turned eighteen two months ago". Holy shit she is young, Happy thought. "Wow you look a lot older" she smiled. "Happy am I sleeping in here tonight" she said nervously "yeah it's the only free room with all the families here" "are you sleeping in here too". "If you're ok with that I'll sleep on the couch or if not I can go crash on the couch in the main room". She thought about it for a second "no you can have the bed, I'll sleep on the couch I'm shorter it will be more comfortable for you". Happy smiled "ok, thank you" she laughed softly "no thank you, even with everything I have put you through your being really nice to me". Happy moved closer to her on the bed, he put his hand on top of hers "you're too sweet to be anything but nice to you ". She looked up at him with a serious look "wish everyone thought that" the pain coming back to her mind. "you wanna talk about it, Gemma told me that you have never said exactly what they did, talking about it might help" she immediately shifted her eyes back down to the bed" I can't, at least not yet, I don't want to think about it anymore tonight" he gently squeezed her hand "ok you don't have to just remember I'm here if you want to talk". "Okay" she said softly. "So how about a drink, I won't tell anyone if you don't" Happy grinned at her. " I don't really feel like drinking" " okay well I know something that will help you relax, have you smoked weed before " she looked at him a little shocked " no" she said unsure about this. " you wanna try a little" he said standing up. "Ok" Natalie said sounding so young. " k I'll be right back" Happy walked out of the room and up to the bar "Hey Gemma", " yeah Hap" Gemma said handing one of the guys a drink. "Can I get a little medicine" Gemma eyed him suspiciously, "you planning on getting my girl high Happy" she said with a smirk. "Just trying to get her to relax Gemma, nothing else". Gemma leans down under the bar and pulls a joint out of her purse. "Here you go, don't let her do too much" he takes the joint from her "thanks Gem" he walks back to the room.

"Okay now just take a small drag off it, not too much for your first time" Natalie puts the lit joint to her mouth and breaths it in, she instinctively starts coughing. Happy softly laughs "happens to everyone the first time". He takes the joint and takes a couple hits and hands it back to Natalie. She takes it and takes another hit. "It's not so bad "she says. Happy can see Natalie is slowly getting more relaxed, he takes a couple more hits and Natalie takes one more and Happy puts it out. "Do you want to watch a movie with me?" he sits down next to her " sure " .Natalie smiles and stands up " you find a movie for us to watch and I'll go change" he watches her bend over and pulls some clothes out of her bag " okay". Happy keeps looking through Netflix trying to find something he finally decides on Anchorman right as Natalie walks out of the bathroom. He tries not to make it obvious he is looking her up and down but he is getting turned on seeing her in a loose t shirt and a pair of pink plaid pj shorts that shows off a good amount of her legs, her hair pulled back into a high pony tail really shows off her beautiful face and stunning blue eyes. She sits down next to him and Happy tries to turn his attention to the TV. "Anchorman ok" she smiles " yeah" they sit there watching the movie, Happy smiles when she lays her head on his shoulder, he sits his hand on her knee and notices she doesn't flinch for the first time. Progress he thought, then notices she was asleep. He gets up and lays her down and puts a blanket over top of her leaning down he kisses her forehead and walks over to the bed, strips down to his boxers and falls asleep.

Happy awoke a couple hours later to the sounds of a scream and whimpering he hurried out of bed and walked over to where Natalie was, she was having a nightmare. Happy sits Natalie up ad sits down and holds her "shhhh baby, it's just a dream, come on wake up, it's just a dream". Natalie wakes up freaking and shoves Happy away from her and scrabbles to the far side of the couch. " hey, hey , it's just me Natalie, its ok " she looks at him finally realizing what's going on and her dream was just that, a dream she shocks Happy by flinging herself in his arms and breaks down crying. Happy wraps his arms around her, rubbing her back speaking reassuringly to calm her down. She finally calms down but doesn't let go of Happy, "hey you want to lay in bed with me and I'll hold you while you sleep, I promise it will be nothing but holding you" happy says rubbing her back more. Not loosening her hold on him she nods her head into his shoulder. Happy picks Natalie up and carries her to the bed laying her down and crawling in besides her she turns on her side towards him. He wraps his arm back around her as she snuggles into his chest, finally feeling safe. Happy waited to hear her breathing even out to know she was asleep so he could turn her over on her side and move behind her, he lays an arm over her wrapping around her body holding her close and then he falls asleep.

Natalie wakes up and feels a quick jolt of panic when she sees a guy's arm around her, but calms when she remembers last night, she softly picks his arm up and slides out of bed, she walks into the bathroom to take a shower. Happy hears a noise and rolls his head over then notices the bed is empty besides him, sitting up he scans the room looking for Natalie, then hears the bathroom door open and Natalie walks out. "oh hey, I couldn't go back to sleep after I woke up so I figured I would shower" Natalie was standing there in a pair of black skinny jeans and a black fitted t shirt with her riding boots on, her hair still wrapped in a towel and no makeup on. Happy smiled looking at how perfectly her jeans hugged her thin legs and nice ass and for once not wearing something baggy he could see her perfectly flat stomach and scanning up he finally gets to see the outline of some very nice guessing a large c size tits, she's perfect he thought, could gain a few pounds but incredibly sexy. "How you doing this morning beautiful" Natalie blushes " I'm good, thank you for last night Happy "he pats the bed and she moves over and sits next to him "it's no problem, you think you will be able to venture beyond the room today?" the smile on her face disappears as she looks at Happy "I'll try" he smiles "we will take it slow in about an hour most the guys will be out working in the garage, I'll take you out then, I asked Gemma for the day off so I can be with you so I will be right next to you the whole time, we can even smoke a little more if that will help" she smiles "ok". And then Happy does something she never expected he leaned forward put a finger under her chin and pulled her face to meet his with a soft kiss. Natalie closes her eyes and when she opens them Happy is looking at her, almost trying to judge if that was a bad move or not. She smiles softly and happy takes a deep breath. "I'm gonna shower and get dressed k" Natalie just nods.

About an hour later they were both dressed. "You want to smoke a little before we go out" Happy said. Natalie smiled "no I'm ok". Natalie takes a deep breath. She watches Happy walk over to stand in front of her he puts a hand on each of her arms and smiles "I'll be right next to you ok" she nods Happy leans down and softly kisses her lips. He pulls back and pushes a strand of her hair behind her eye. "You ready" she nods. Happy grabs Natalie's hand and laced his fingers with hers. They walk out of the room and to Natalie's relief the clubhouse is empty except two girls sitting on the couch and chucky behind the bar cleaning. Happy walks Natalie over to the bar and they sit down. Chucky walks over to them; Happy puts his hand on Natalie's knee and gently squeezes to reassure her. "You guys want something to drink" Chucky asks. "I'll have a beer" Happy looks at Natalie "you want something" "just a water" Natalie says softly staring down at the bar counter. Chucky grabs bottle water and a beer for Happy. They sat there for almost an hour just talking when a group of the guys walked in taking a break for lunch. Happy was enjoying this new side of Natalie, happy and comfortable not scared just full of laughs and smiles, but the second the guys walked in the old Natalie was back. She immediately stood up and moves to leave the room but Happy grabbed her hand to stop her. "Hey calm down you're ok, these guys won't hurt you, just trust me". Natalie takes a deep breath and grabs his hand that's holding hers with her other hand and moves close to him "ok" Happy smiles and shocks Natalie by leaning close and laying a kiss lightly on her lips. She looks around to see if anyone saw and notices everyone is talking among each other and not paying attention. She looks at him and smiles, he leans in and kisses her again but this time not as soft. When he pulls back all he can do is look in her eyes. After a few minutes he finally gets her to sit back down at the bar. She finishes her water and he finishes his beer, when he hears "church" yelled, he glances to Natalie and she nods, he gets up and walks in with the other guys leaving Natalie sitting at the bar by herself.

Gemma walks in the clubhouse, she instantly notices Natalie sitting at the bar by herself and something that shocks her; she is talking to Chucky with a smile on her face. Happy really is helping her she thought. "Where did hap go" Gemma asks "church" Natalie says turning her barstool to face Gemma. Gemma nods "how are you doing sweetheart" "good, more comfortable" Gemma smiles" it seems like you have grown close to Happy, he treating you good" she asks. Natalie breaks out in a smile at the mention of Happy "I'll take that as a yes" Gemma says laughing. "you know Natalie, I know with everything that has happened you don't trust but you can let Happy in, he is a good guy, and it seems like you like him and I know he likes you, so all I'm saying is just trust him, let yourself feel things for him and if it goes from like to something more its ok to have that, he isn't like the guys that hurt you he is a good man. Natalie thinks about what Gemma just said she really does like Happy and he has been nothing but sweet and understanding with her, why didn't she trust him, he has done nothing to deserve her not to trust him. " I'll try Gemma, I want a normal life and to feel comfortable around guys, and I really like him" Gemma puts her hand on Natalie's shoulder " that's good honey" She smiles at Natalie and then walks away right as Happy and the rest of the guys walk from the room church was just held in.

They had been on lock down for a week and a half now and Natalie was going stir crazy, she now spent a lot of time out of the room, but she still wasn't brave enough to venture outside. Happy had been back to work and she just sat around and read or played on her phone or watched movies and TV, occasionally she would help Gemma in the kitchen or bar but that's it. The door started opening and Happy walked in the room covered in grease and dirt. Natalie was sitting on the bed on her laptop playing a game. "How you doing honey". "I'm going crazy I can't stand it anymore I want to get out of this place" Natalie almost yells, Happy softly laughs "I know, I was actually just coming to give you some good news" Natalie's eyes lit up "are we off lock down" she said with a lot of enthusiasm "yeah, we are" shocking Happy she jumps off the bed into his arms and kisses him. She pulls back "I'm sorry, I'm just excited". Happy moves her legs to wrap around his waist "well now I'm excited too" Natalie blushes and unwraps her legs, her feet hitting the ground again. "It's ok Natalie I like you in my arms kissing me; in fact I would like to do a lot more than just kiss you". He said immediately regretting opening his mouth seeing the nervous blush on her face. "Happy, I just can't, I'm too scared and nervous and even when you kiss me thoughts of what happened flash in my head". Happy moves a piece of Natalie's hair behind her ear. "Natalie I know something bad happened to you and I wish you would talk to me about it, and I know you are going to need time to heal from that before you can move on with someone, but I like you and I hope you will learn to trust me, I'm not going to hurt you and I can step back if that's what you need, but I will be here for you if you ever need me" a tear rolls down Natalie's cheek and she nods her head. Happy wraps his arms around her and holds her for a couple minutes then let's go and tells her Gemma will be taking her home in about an hour, then walks out the door.


	3. Chapter 3

So this chapter may look a little different I took the advice of a couple of my reviewers and tried to structure this chapter different, I'm not sure if I did it how they meant but I'm still learning so please let me know if this is better I'm always open for constructive criticism Thank you.

Disclaimer: I only own the rights to the original characters I do not own any of the Sons of Anarchy characters

Three months later Natalie walks out of her counselor's office, she had only seen this lady cause Gemma asked her to try it and that it may help her but all it seems to do is repeatedly bring up shit and she hated it. She wanted to just tell everything that happened that night and get it off her chest and then hopefully move on to never have it come up again. She knew that she could do that with Happy, but something kept her from telling him and she wasn't sure what it was. Since the day the lockdown ended she hadn't spoken to Happy except an occasional hey or hi when she was at the clubhouse or if he came by the house to talk to Clay and Gemma and it was really bothering her, she missed him, she missed him really bad. She finally got home after being in traffic for almost two hours, she felt like tonight was going to be a bad, emotional night being in traffic for so long and going to her counselor today had her anxiety level elevated farther then it had been in a long time, she felt a panic attack coming on but she desperately tried to control it.

Natalie sat her things on her bed and walked down to the kitchen not seeing Gemma or Clay just a note saying a plate of food was in the fridge for her. She got the plate out and put it in the microwave and then slipped out the back patio door, she sat down on the bench and pulled a pack of cigs from her pocket and lit one. Yep bad habit she knows, but her counselor wanted to put her on meds to calm her anxiety and she took up smoking instead. She didn't want to be taking crazy pills or that's what she called them.

Natalie was about done with her cigarette when she heard the beep of the microwave; she put out her cig in the ashtray and walked back in grabbing her food and a bottle water and heading up to her room.

Natalie lay in her bed staring at the ceiling, a Netflix movie playing in the back ground, but not listening or watching it. Her hands where clinched and her face wet with tears, her mind was racing and her heart pounding, she couldn't figure out why she couldn't calm herself down. She had already smoked 4 more cigarettes since the one outside and she had paced her room about a hundred times she felt like she was losing control and it was scaring her.

She sat up in a hurry scrambling to her purse and pulling out her phone, she scanned her contacts finding who she was looking for and hit send, hearing it ring and ring and ring she thought it would go to voicemail when she heard a soft tired sounding yeah on the other end of the phone.

"Happy" she said quietly trying not to fall apart.

"Natalie, what's going on its 3:30 in the morning" he said sounding worried.

"You said u would be here if I ever needed you and I need you, please" she said pleading that last couple words.

"Where are you baby" Happy said more alert now.

"Home" the only word she could get out before the flood gates opened and tears poured down her face.

"I'll be there in a min baby try to hang on till I get there" he said the sound of clothing being put on in the background. She heard a click and pulled the phone from her ear, then curled into a ball on her bed and cried harder then she had since the night they hurt her.

Happy rushed out the clubhouse door and grabbed his helmet throwing it on his head he started up his bike and screeched his tires pulling out of the parking lot.

He wasn't sure what was going on or what was wrong with Natalie but all he knew was she needed him and the sound of that girls voice broke his normally rock solid heart in to pieces.

About 10 minutes later he pulled up in front of Gemma and Clays house barley getting his kickstand down before hopping off his bike, he rushed up to the door finding the spare key and opening the door.

Happy sprints up the stairs going straight for Natalie's bedroom; right outside of it he can hear her sobs. Not even knocking he rushes in the room right to her bed, all he sees is Natalie curled in the smallest ball, her knees tucked up to her chin and her tiny body shaking hard.

"Baby, I'm here". Not even thinking twice Natalie fly's off the bed into his arms and falls apart even harder.

"Hey, shhhh baby, I'm here everything's ok, calm down". Happy tries his best to sooth her.

"I can't get it to stop, it just won't stop Happy why won't it go away, please make it stop". She sobs into his shoulder as he sits on the bed cradling her in his arms.

"What won't stop Natalie I don't understand what won't go away". He said trying to get more info out of her.

"These thoughts and memories and images in my head, I don't want to think about it anymore, I don't want to see it anymore, why can't it just stop". Happy finally gets it, she is having flashbacks.

"Honey, calm down and talk to me, tell me what you're seeing, tell me what happened, talk it out with me, I promise it will help, you need to get this out".

Happy rubs his hand across her back, realizing its not working he reached in his pocket and pulls out a joint and lights it taking a puff off of it.

"Here baby take a puff, it will help you calm down", he puts it to her lips; Natalie accepts it and takes a large hit off the joint.

"There you go take another one and breath" she takes another large hit and a deep breath, Happy feels her slowly relaxing. He takes another hit and puts it back to Natalie's lips

"One more baby" she breaths it in and finally totally relaxes against Happy.

"There you go take deep breaths".

Happy says but instead of deep breaths her breathing evens out, from not sleeping the last couple nights and this emotional experience sleep caught up to Natalie and she was passed out in Happy's arms. He lightly laughed and moved her over into bed, it being now after 4 in the morning Happy stood up and stripped off his jeans and crawled in the bed in his boxers and t shirt next to Natalie. He wraps and arm around her and let's sleep come to him too.

A few hours later Happy awakes the sound of the shower turning on, he decides to lay there for a little longer till she gets out of the shower. A light tap on the door makes him open his eyes again

"Natalie, I washed some of your" is all Gemma gets out as she walks in the room seeing Happy laying in Natalie's bed instead of Natalie.

"Oh hi and can I ask why you are laying in my girls bed" she says with a smirk on her face.

"Natalie had a bad night, I got here about 4 this morning and finally got her calmed down and to sleep, nothing happened but crying, smoking and sleeping"

Gemma frowned she didn't know Natalie was having such a hard time. "Did she say much to you"

Happy shook his head "nope just that it won't go away, she didn't want to see it anymore but I'm going to try and get her to talk when she gets out of the shower"

Gemma nodded her head setting the laundry basket down next to the closet. "Ok well let me know if you need anything".

Happy sits up in bed "hey Gemma, I do have something to ask you"

Gemma turns around "yeah baby"

Happy looks at the bathroom door seeing it still shut and hearing the shower still on "would you have an issue if me and Natalie were together"

A big smile finds its way to Gemma's face "no, she deserves to be happy and I think that exactly what you can do, you're a good guy and I know you won't intentionally hurt her just take it slow and be careful with her, you have my blessing"

Happy smiles "thanks"

Gemma turns around and walks out of the room back to the kitchen.

Natalie walks out of the bathroom dressed in a pink tank top and baggy grey Victoria secret sweat pants, her hair wrapped in a towel. She finds Happy laying in bed staring at the ceiling.

"Did I hear Gemma in here" she asks putting her dirty clothes in the hamper.

"Ya she brought in your laundry"

"Oh, ok" Natalie says pulling the towel off her head letting her damp hair fall to her shoulders. Damn she is sexy Happy thinks sitting up in bed.

"Hey, come here" Happy said patting the spot on the bed next to him.

Natalie tosses her towel in the hamper and walks over to the bed looking Happy in the eye before sitting on the spot he had just had his hand.

"What Happy" she said looking at him.

"what do you mean what Happy, I didn't come her just cause your bed is comfy, I didn't find you dancing and talking about sunshine and rainbows last night, you know what Natalie" Happy said more harshly then he meant.

"You didn't have to come, I didn't mean to inconvenience you" Natalie says starting to stand from the bed.

Happy grabs her arm pulling her back down to sit on the bed instinctively she scoots back on the bed to put some distance between her and Happy. "I didn't mean it like that Natalie, I just want you to talk to me, tell me everything so I can understand and help you"

She looks down at her hands clasped together in her lap and back up at him "ok" the word comes out of her mouth almost too quiet for him to hear.

Happy reaches for her hand and clasps his with hers and gives her a slight smile to encourage her.

"I had just left work at the tiny grocery store in town it was a little after 10pm and I was walking down the street headed to my only friend Cassie's house, that's where I had been staying for 2 weeks since my mom kicked me out".

Happy looked at Natalie shocked "your mom kicked you out" he questioned.

"Umm yeah, her boyfriend made a pass at me and I told her and she flipped out on me and told me I was just trying to ruin her relationship so she kicked me out".

Happy moved his hand to her face wiping away the tear that rolled down her cheek.

"So yeah I was walking down the street when three guys came walking out of one of the alleys and starting checking me out and walking right by me and started making calls at me, I just ignored them and kept walking". Natalie takes a deep breath trying to keep the tears back.

"they got annoyed I was ignoring them I guess and one of them walked up to me and grabbed my arm and I struggled against him but the others joined in and they were telling me not to fight it that a little slut like me would enjoy this and they proceeded to drag me into the alley they had come from" Natalie's hands start to shake.

Happy rubs his thumb over one of her hands trying to soothe her.

"One of the guys started trying to kiss me and I was pushing him away and screaming at them to stop and I slapped him, well that was a bad idea cause he smacked me across the face and threw me to the ground. The other two knelt down and held my arms down and the one I slapped unbuttoned my jeans and ripped them down my legs". At this point tears were steadily cascading down Natalie's face.

"He then told me since I was such a slut this would be easy for me and he raped me" Natalie was now bawling her eyes out

" it hurt so bad Happy I hadn't done any of that I wasn't a slut, I was a virgin, he took that from me and then the others joined in, I was so scared and confused I didn't understand I didn't know what to do I finally just gave up and layed there, when the first guy was about to take his second turn was when I heard motorcycles and I yelled for help and then I just remember a sharp pain to my head and everything going black, I woke up one time being carried and then blacked out and woke up at Gemma's".

Happy couldn't believe what this tiny thing had gone through, his blood boiled hearing everything she was telling him.

"I'm just always scared now Happy and I don't know what's wrong with me I haven't told Gemma cause I don't want to be a burden but I still hurt all the time"

Happy looked at her confused. "what do you mean you still hurt all the time Natalie".

Natalie looks up at Happy scared to tell him, she tries to slow down her crying so she can talk "ummm down there it hurts, sometimes it hurts just to walk".

Happy tightens his grip on her hand " Honey, we need to get you checked out that's not normal, finish getting ready and I'll go get Gemma and have her take you in to get checked out".

"No Happy please don't tell Gemma, she has already done so much I don't want to be another problem for her, I'll be fine"

Happy moves a strand of Natalie's hair behind her ear "you are not fine you need to be checked out, will you let Tara check you out, I won't tell Gemma if you will get checked out"

Natalie looks down at their hands together and whispers "ok"

Happy lets go of one of her hands and pulls his phone out of his pants and calls Tara "ok she is going to meet us at the clubhouse in an hour, so get ready and we will go"

Happy stands up and pulls his pants on and puts his phone back in his pocket

"Will you stay with me when I see Tara, I'm scared, I don't want to do it alone"

'Yeah baby I won't leave your side, I promise"

After getting to St. Tomas hospital and Tara checking her out Natalie and Happy sit in Tara's office waiting to hear what is wrong.

Tara walks in "Well Natalie I just got the x-rays they show you have a fractured pelvis it's a small fracture but it is probably what is making walking hard there isn't much we can do except let it heal on its own you just need to take it easy no lifting things over 5 lbs. and no serious bending or strenuous activity for four weeks but you should start to feel better in the next week or two. But when I examined you there was some tearing on your cervix it should heal on its own the only thing is the scar tissue can prevent you from getting pregnant or it could prevent you from carrying a child to term so you will probably only have about a 20% chance of of conceiving or staying pregnant, I'm really sorry Natalie"

Happys heart broke hearing this he didn't know what Natalie's plans for having kids in the future was but he knew that this would be hard for her. He squeezed her hand when she didn't say anything or move she was in a daze.

"You ok Natalie" he said softly.

She simply nodded her head and stood up and rushed out of Tara's office.

"Thank you Tara" Happy said rushing out after Natalie.

Happy rushes through the hospital in the direction Natalie ran as he reaches the entrance to the hospital he hears Natalie yelling outside he picks up speed running to her with his hand on his gun.

Natalie finally comes into view and he takes his hand off his gun, the prospect has a tight hold on Natalie with her arms pinned to her side, she is yelling and cussing and crying all at the same time

"Let me go, please just let me go, fuck I just want to go away please"

Happy walks over eyeing the prospect "what the fuck are you doing prospect"

He looks up at Happy nervously "sorry man but she was running I tried to get her to stop and then she ran out the doors and was starting to head to the street I didn't know what else to do"

Happy nodded" ok man let her go she will be fine now, right Natalie no running"

Natalie nodded but the second he let go she turned to run but Happy was quicker and grabbed her wrist and pulled her into his arms, she instantly broke the second her face touched his chest.

"Shhh baby it's going to be ok". Happy picks Natalie up wrapping her legs around his waist and moves to the car sliding in the back with her in his lap

"Take us to Gemma's prospect"

The prospect gets in behind the wheel "yes sir".

Happy walks in the house with a sleeping Natalie in his arms

"What's going on Happy" Gemma says walking up to him.

"Let me lay her down and we will talk"

Gemma nods and follows him to her room opening the door for him. They go down to the kitchen and sit at the table

"She doesn't want you to know because she feels bad for how much you have already done for her but I think you need to know"

Gemma closes her eye and then looks at Happy" I had a feeling she wasn't telling me something "she said running her hand through her hair

"I finally got out of her this morning what happened and I'm so fucking glad we killed those guys they put her through hell, but she let slip that she was still hurting so I took her to Tara and she did an exam and x-rays and she has a fractured pelvis and a torn cervix, Tara said they will heal on their own but the scar tissue will probably cause her to never get pregnant, she took it really hard"

Gemma sighed "fuck can't this little girl get a break"

Happy rubs his hand over his face " I don't know how to help her Gemma, I'm not a touchy feely person like what she needs, I don't know what the fuck I'm supposed to do to comfort her, FUCK" he yells loudly slamming his fist on the table making Gemma jump

"I kill people I don't cuddle them" he leans his head in his hands and Gemma just places her hand on his back

"Listen Happy you have been exactly what she needs, you may think you don't know what to do but you have already been doing it, just sit with her, lay with her tell her it's going to be ok and wrap your arms around her when she cries, I can tell this girl is getting under your skin Hap I can see you care about her so just let yourself care don't think about the other shit, your falling hard for her so just fall"


	4. Chapter 4

CHAPTER 4

Disclaimer: I only own the rights to the original characters I do not own any of the Sons of Anarchy characters

This Chapter has taken me awhile to write I'm sorry about that but I got a new job so I have been busy but I hope you like it.

Warning graphic parts towards the end.

Two weeks had passed and Natalie was coping with all the information Tara gave her she just decided to give up on a dream of a perfect life the one that came with a husband and kids she knew a guy would never want her she was damages goods and even better one that couldn't reproduce she was a total failure of a woman in her eyes.

Natalie rolled over facing the door to her room after she heard a knock "come in"

Happy opened the door and walked over to the bed looking down at her, _well were going for the comfy look I guess, _he thought even thought she was laying in bed with her hair in a messy bun high on top her head baggy sweatpants and a t shirt that was four times too big she was still beautiful.

"Being a bum again today I see" he said with a soft laugh.

"Nothing better to do might as well be comfortable" she said sitting up against her headboard.

"look Natalie, I'm not a guy that is good with words, I don't know how to comfort or be the sweet touchy feely guy and I can't even begin to know or understand what you're going through but I do know I like you and all I want to do is make you understand that it will be ok, your incredibly beautiful and sweet and for some reason that I haven't even figured out I feel something for you that I haven't felt for a girl before".

For the first time in a while Happy saw a small smile form on Natalie's lips.

"I really like you Happy, you make me feel safe and your wrong you do know how to comfort, you have comforted me so much since I met you and I don't really expect a touchy feely guy I have never gotten that from a guy before it's not something I think I will ever expect I just don't want to hurt anymore"

Happy lifts his hand to put a piece of her hair behind her ear.

"Baby you deserve a guy to be sweet to you and I will do my best to make sure you're never hurt again"

Natalie smiles and leans in and places a soft kiss on Happy's lips pulling back she blushes still shy and not knowing how to act around this tough biker.

"Baby I love your kisses they light something in me that makes me want to go crazy with you, I know you aren't ready for a lot of things but I just want to make you feel good, can you trust me enough to let me do that"

Unsure of exactly what Happy means she nervously nods her head staring intently at him.

Happy shifts closer to Natalie on the bed and slides his hand across her cheek and into her hair pulling her up to meet his lips slowly and lightly placing multiple little kisses from her mouth to her cheek and down her neck.

Natalie lets out a little moan not sure of what she is feeling but enjoys his touch.

"I won't do anything you don't want me to sweetheart if you want me to stop just say the words" he whispers against her neck.

Slowly he continues his softs kisses down to her collar bone and nibbles slightly in that spot earning another moan from her lips. His hand slides down the side of her body to come to a rest on her hip gently squeezing.

He moves his kisses from her collar bone back to the base of her neck and up to her ear, meanwhile his hand has now ventured to the hem of her baggy t shirt slightly rubbing the soft skin underneath.

He reaches her lips again and this time attacks her mouth with his sliding his tongue timidly into her mouth not wanting to push too fast.

His hand moves up now fully under her shirt running his fingers across her flat stomach feeling the toned muscles tense under his hand.

"Baby you are so damn sexy, relax for me just feel good" he says moving his hand higher now feeling the swell of her breasts.

As his hand comes into its first contact with her breasts he hears a sharp intake of air from Natalie and a slight resistance from her lips the start of a panic.

"Its ok baby I'm not going to hurt you, trust me remember" he quietly says feeling her start to relax.

Happy continues his exploration under her shirt gently grabbing and squeeze her breast then finds one of her nipples and flicks his finger a crossed it getting a louder moan from her.

Natalie try's her hardest to trust him she slowly relaxes pushing all the thoughts out her head as she feels the slight pressure of him laying her down to the pillows still kissing him and feeling his hands run across her skin.

Happy's hand moves down to the hem of her shirt and pulls it up and over her head finally seeing her sexy body underneath.

Her first instinct is to cover herself up but Happy pulls her hands to the side looking from her body to her face. "Don't shy away baby, your beautiful"

He kisses down her neck again but this time moving further down to her chest placing kisses between her breasts and reaches her nipple taking it into his mouth. He gets a rewarding moan out of Natalie and shows the same attack to her other nipple. He moves his hand down her ribs and across her stomach running his finger under the waistband of her sweatpants sliding them down her hips.

Looking up watching her reaction he sees her head arched back and eyes closed, he can't keep the small smile off his lips seeing her totally relaxed for the first time.

His eyes continue down seeing her bare chest and down her toned stomach to her pink cotton boy shorts he just uncovered. His hand trails up her leg softly rubbing and squeezing her silky skin causing Goosebumps to form he reaches her thighs and moves his body back up to lay next to her using his other hand to move her face to look at him.

"Open your eyes baby, I want you to see it's me making you feel good"

As her eyes open staring into his he attacks her lips giving her the most forceful kiss yet, swallowing the gasp from her as his hand finally reaches his destination cupping her over her panties.

"Happy" Natalie moans her back arching off the bed.

"Feel good baby" he says softly rubbing her.

Happy moves a finger over hooking it in the side of her panties to moves them aside and that's when he reaches her boundary.

"No, stop please" she whimpers out

He retracts his finger quick like as if he had just been burnt.

"Ok baby, I won't go further, just relax, I'll stay right where I was, ok"

The flash of fear that hit her beautiful eyes stabs him in the heart but he remains on top of her panties rubbing to get her back to the relaxed state.

Natalie nods and accepts his lips in another forceful kiss that along with his hand rubbing her gets her relaxed again.

He continued his motions till he could tell she was close. "You feel good baby" he says adding another kiss to her already swollen lips.

"Yes, please don't stop Happy, I don't know what I'm feeling but it feels so good please don't stop"

"I'm not stopping sweetheart, just relax and let it happen, cum for me baby" Natalie blushes at his vulgar words.

Happy sees she is about to unravel and latches his lips to hers to swallow her moans as she arches her back and cries out, her toes curling and her hand gripping his arm.

Natalie opens her eyes after finally catching her breath and stares up into the dark orbs of happy looking down at her with a smile on his face "you're so fucking beautiful baby"

Natalie blushes deep red with the realization hitting her of what just happened she rolls her head into his chest trying to hide her slight embarrassment.

"Don't be shy honey" he says with a soft laugh.

He continues his laugh as she tries to conceal a yawn "I think I wore you out"

"Yeah I think you did, I haven't been sleeping good but I feel like I could sleep for a long time after that"

He kisses her lips "why don't you take a little nap while I go help Gemma with a few things and then maybe we can go grab some food later"

"Ok", she says watching Happy stand then laid a kiss on her forehead before walking out of the room.

Sleep comes to her quickly not letting her think too much about what just happened she knew she had just let him in and it made her happy and scared her all at the same time.


End file.
